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dysthymics

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introduction post [Dec. 4th, 2009|12:06 am]
dysthymics

dysthymics

[whenevertheygo]
[music |The Beach Boys - That's Not Me (stereo mix) | Powered by Last.fm]

Hello.


I just joined the community. I'm 19 years old and was diagnosed with dysthymia somewhere between 3-6 years ago. I had been diagnosed 3 other times [by three other professionals] with the end results switching between depressed and not depressed. This is one of my first times posting to a community even though I've been on lJ and in communities for more than 4 years.

I graduated high school in 2008 and the past year and a half has been my first time not seeing anyone to deal with my behaviors or having any commitment in my life. It hasn't been going that well and led to my first suicide attempt in early May after being manic for a long period of time [3 months] then building up what I read someone describe as "pits" of not doing things around the house and remaining in my room for long periods of time. I've only managed to tell about 4 or 5 people about my attempt and I've never actually talked to anyone about my depression. I've never really had open communication lines with my friends until recently, and it's something were working on.

In school I was put in group therapy by 2nd grade, then started to see one not in a group by 3rd. 4th grade was my first major depression. I was put in academic support and started seeing family therapy once a week due to my sister's depression in 5th grade. by 6th grade I was seeing a school psychologist/therapist twice a week which continued all throughout middle school. Having another major depressive episode in 7th grade. High school I was put into "modified" classes that had a therapist in the room.[I was really luck to live in an area with a school like that] I was also a self harmer [never cutting, mostly hitting and scratching] starting in 4th grade and continuing until late high school. It still reappears sometimes, but it's getting better.

My life currently is as a do-nothing. I do nothing all day every day. No school, no work, nothing. Something that many people dream of and others can't stand the idea of. I am also sort of dating for the first time in my life.

I've never felt that depressed people could really understand due to their feelings being more severe and concrete[from my point of view at least], but people without depression wouldn't understand the concept of never being actually happy. I've never [knowingly] talked with someone with dysthymia so I'm glad to have found this place. Reading through some of the post I finally find words that fit how I feel. Thanks for reading.


-renee

PS. I've never been on medication for it.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: smellykaka
2009-12-04 09:16 am (UTC)
Welcome. I'm one of the ones that finds not having to do anything at all quite seductive, but I go to work and earn money and pay bills and it can get quite tedious at times. I have good moments now and then, but I need luck to find them.
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[User Picture]From: whenevertheygo
2009-12-04 05:11 pm (UTC)
I think most people who have had a hard day of work would probably chose the dream. Good luck with your moments.
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[User Picture]From: bastet11191967
2009-12-04 06:49 pm (UTC)
Welcome. Dysthymia is a tough thing to live with, but is doable if one gets good help. I've had to realize that, because of having this condition, I have to arrange my activities accordingly so as to be productive in some sense, arranging anything that requires brain power in the morning and leaving the mindless monkey work for the afternoon. Otherwise, I most likely would never get anything done, especially since procrastination is a major character defect of mine.

Is your family supportive, or is it contributing to your depression? This was one thing I had to look at, as I constantly felt like I would make some strides, then backslide. Even some friends and coworkers have made similar observations, especially after dealing with my family members' drama. It may not be the same for you, but I was simply wondering.
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[User Picture]From: whenevertheygo
2009-12-06 03:23 am (UTC)
Thanks. Arranging activities has also been very successful for me too, even if sometimes the why bother or procrastinator part of me takes over.

I'm not sure if my family is helping or hurting. I get along really well with my mother, but my sister tends to be a "massive bitch" to everyone ever. My extended family has drama, but I tend to be uninvolved. My mother tends to over compensate for my sister and me.
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[User Picture]From: ammerlin
2009-12-04 09:28 pm (UTC)
Nice to meet you Renee. It sounds as if you're working hard at helping yourself in some aspects of your life. I hope you're giving yourself a lot of credit for that, it's not easy.
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[User Picture]From: whenevertheygo
2009-12-06 03:32 am (UTC)
Nice to meet you too & Thanks.
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[User Picture]From: deathintears
2009-12-13 10:37 am (UTC)
Don't be afraid to talk to people. You definitely have to figure out who will make you feel better and who will make you feel worse though. Just find a therapist who is right for you and I think you'll be great.
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[User Picture]From: whenevertheygo
2009-12-13 10:09 pm (UTC)
Thanks for your words of encouragement. I'll definitely try to look into finding a therapist.
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